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Emotions and expectations can also play a part in post-coital insomnia. In fact, our mindset, stress levels, body image, and feelings toward our partner can all factor into how we might feel after sex and if we'll be ready for sleep, says Jessica Byrd, a licensed clinical social worker and therapist in Arizona who specializes in women's mental health and sexual dissatisfaction. “Anytime we don't follow a script that's been normalized, we can find ourselves wondering, What's wrong with me? Why isn't my body working the way that it's supposed to?” says Byrd. Add in the pressure levied by media portrayals of women almost unanimously enjoying sex late at night (after the kids have gone to bed and the dishes are done) plus the resentment that can bubble up if a partner is able to fall asleep easily after sex, and it becomes easy to see why sleep after sex can be a stress trigger for many women.

If you have trouble sleeping after bedtime sex, know that you are not alone and that your problem is not uncommon. Here are factors to consider and a plan of action.

Make peace with natural sleep changes

Yes, nighttime sex might have some impact on your quality of sleep, but how you sleep shifts over time. (altro…)